How to Be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci
My Summary
Highlights
We must make the best of those things that are in our power, and take the rest as nature gives it. —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, I.1 — location: 353
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. — location: 365
the Stoics say, we should pay attention to the parameters in life’s equation that we do control or influence: making sure that we have embarked on a voyage we really want to make, and for good reasons; spending some time researching the best crew (airline) for our ship (plane); and making related preparations. One of the first lessons from Stoicism, then, is to focus our attention and efforts where we have the most power and then let the universe run as it will. This will save us both a lot of energy and a lot of worry. — location: 422
He was given the liberum mortis arbitrium, a free choice of death, as the Romans euphemistically put it: he was ordered to commit suicide — location: 488
hic et nunc—here and now. — location: 524
Are Epictetus and his fellow Stoics committing an elementary logical fallacy known as making an “appeal to nature”? In other words, are they arguing that something is good because it is natural, never mind that a good number of natural things are actually quite bad for us? (Poisonous mushrooms come to mind.) — location: 660
FIGURE 4.1. The Stoic idea of cosmopolitanism, visualized as contracting circles of concern, according to the second-century philosopher Hierocles. The idea is to train ourselves to treat people in the outer circles the way we treat people from the inner circles. — location: 729
cosmopolitanism, which literally means “being a citizen of the world.” — location: 734
Or as Socrates—arguably the most important influence on all Hellenistic schools of philosophy—put it: “Never… reply to one who asks [your] country, ‘I am an Athenian,’ or ‘I am a Corinthian,’ but ‘I am a citizen of the universe.’” — location: 734
When Meletus, with the shady support of Anytus and Lycon, accused him of “impiety” (that is, not believing in the state’s official gods), he stood in front of his fellow citizens to argue his case—even though it was clear that the charges stemmed from a combination of political and personal vendettas on the part of his accusers. — location: 773
Malala was then featured in a New York Times documentary, which caused both her initial rise to fame and her targeting by the Taliban. — location: 1102
The Stoics derived their understanding of virtue from Socrates, who believed that all virtues are actually different aspects of the same underlying feature: wisdom. — location: 1121
The Stoics adopted Socrates’s classification of four aspects of virtue, which they thought of as four tightly interlinked character traits: (practical) wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice. — location: 1128
Practical wisdom allows us to make decisions that improve our eudaimonia, the (ethically) good life. — location: 1129
Courage can be physical, but more broadly refers to the moral aspect—for instance, the ability to act well under challenging circumstances, as Priscus and Malala did. — location: 1130
Temperance makes it possible for us to control our desires and actions so that we don’t yield to excesses. — location: 1131
Justice, for Socrates and the Stoics, refers not to an abstract theory of how society should be run, but rather to the practice of treating other human beings with dignity and fairness. One — location: 1132
Although it makes perfect sense for us to say that, for instance, an individual has shown courage in battle and yet regularly drinks to excess or is ill-tempered, for the Stoics that person would not be virtuous, because virtue is an all-or-nothing package. — location: 1134
six “core” virtues: Courage: Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal; examples include bravery, perseverance, and authenticity (honesty). Justice: Civic strengths that underlie healthy community life; examples include fairness, leadership, and citizenship or teamwork. Humanity: Interpersonal strengths that involve “tending and befriending” others; examples include love and kindness. Temperance: Strengths that protect against excess; examples include forgiveness, humility, prudence, and self-control. Wisdom: Cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of knowledge; examples include creativity, curiosity, judgment, and perspective (providing counsel to others). Transcendence: Strengths that forge connections to the larger universe and thereby provide meaning; examples include gratitude, hope, and spirituality. — location: 1147
the fact is that very disparate human societies, rooted in very distinct religious-philosophical traditions, all seem to value the same core group of character traits in their members, and these are the very same traits and attitudes that Stoics have been teaching about for more than two millennia. — location: 1172
Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to the will; and say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens. For you will find it to be an impediment to something else, but not truly to yourself.” — location: 1435
If there is anything that Stoicism trains people to do it is to monitor their own reactions and reflect critically on how they perceive and interpret the world. — location: 1665
Epictetus’s dichotomy of control. — location: 1682
Someone may call me fat, as indeed happened somewhat frequently when I was a young boy. Well, is it true? At one time in my life it was. In which case, why get offended? What does it even mean to feel insulted by a fact? Conversely, is it not true? Then the fellow who hurled the insult is both childish in his behavior and factually wrong. How is that going to injure me? — location: 1702
The second aspect of Stoic practice that—perhaps surprisingly—Andrew found very helpful was what modern Stoics call negative visualization. The basic idea, again adopted by modern cognitive behavioral therapy and similar approaches, is to regularly focus on potentially bad scenarios, repeating to yourself that they are not in fact as bad as they may seem, because you have the inner resources to deal with them. — location: 1707
Stoicism is predictably often accused of promoting passive acceptance of things — location: 1741
the great Greek playwright Aristophanes made fun of Socrates in The Clouds, depicting him as a sophist (not a compliment, neither then nor ever since), — location: 1924
But my mind again quickly went back to Epictetus, and I steadfastly refused to grant assent to that impression. — location: 1950
Enchiridion, Arrian’s summary of Epictetus’s Discourses, — location: 1978
And Seneca explicitly advised taking a deep breath and going for a walk around the block upon first feeling the uncontrollable rise of rage, which he considered a type of temporary madness. — location: 1979
For example, you may interpret a request from your companion as an undue and irritating invasion of your personal space. But could it be that the request arises from your companion’s need for more attention and care, a need that could be accommodated in some other way that would not make you feel like you have entered a prison? — location: 2003
As my colleague Lou Marinoff put it in the preface to his best-selling book Plato, Not Prozac!, — location: 2041
Typically, scholars distinguish among agápe, éros, philía, and storgē Agápe refers to the sort of love that you feel for your spouse and children, — location: 2142
If you think you know what éros means, you may have to think again. Yes, the word does carry the overt meaning of sensual pleasure and sexual attraction, but, as Plato explained in the Symposium, éros develops into an appreciation of the inner beauty of a person, through which we express our admiration for beauty itself, regardless of its specific incarnation. Philía is the dispassionate, virtuous love that we feel for friends, family, and community because we see and treat them as equal to ourselves. Finally, storgē, a far less frequently used word, specifically refers to love for your children but also, interestingly, for your country or sports team. It carries the meaning of an inherently felt love that has nothing to do with reason or reflection. — location: 2144
But since we are talking about human beings and foreign policy, respectively, not about sports teams, reason ought to be called in to guide us in our actions: I may feel like fleeing the house because I can’t bear to see my daughter in pain, but the right thing to do is to stand by her and support her. I may feel like my country is a crucial part of my identity, which therefore justifies my having special regard for it, but if it is about to engage in actions that are deleterious to itself or to others, then I have a duty to speak out. If something really matters, feelings and reason cannot be decoupled and the latter promptly ignored. — location: 2165
From a Stoic perspective, friendship, like everything else except our own moral character, is a preferred indifferent. — location: 2183
Once more, Aristotle was no Stoic, and the Stoics would have said that the only friendship that truly deserves to be called a friendship is that of the good. — location: 2233
A friendship of utility is what we nowadays would call an acquaintance based on reciprocal advantage—say, for instance, your relationship with your favorite hairdresser. — location: 2212
A “friendship of pleasure,” the second Aristotelian category of philía, is rather obviously based on (again, reciprocal) pleasure. Think of your drinking buddies, or people with whom you share a hobby. — location: 2223
a friendship of the good is that rare phenomenon when two people enjoy each other for their own sake because they find in each other an affinity of character that does not require externalities like a business exchange or a hobby. — location: 2229
Stoicism taught me that regret is about things we can no longer change and the right attitude is to learn from our experiences, not dwell on decisions that we are not in a position to alter. — location: 2357
Begin by responding less and less to talk of “gladiators” and such and occasionally introduce a more challenging topic of your own that is based on something you’ve recently read or watched and that you feel might lead to a mutually beneficial conversation with your friends. See what happens! I’m still surprised at how much more I enjoy dinner parties now. — location: 2504
Admit not sleep into your tender eyelids till you have reckoned up each deed of the day—How have I erred, what done or left undone? So start, and so review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad.” — location: 2595
Western tradition in the Hellenistic period, before the rise of Christianity. — location: 2636
Stemming from different interpretations of his teachings, a trio of schools arose: Plato’s Academy, Aristippus’s Cyrenaics, and Antisthenes’s Cynicism. — location: 2638
Stoicism struck a middle ground between Aristotelianism and Cynicism, while at the same time strongly rejecting Epicureanism. — location: 2678
platofootnote.org — location: 2705
howtobeastoic.org. — location: 2705
Created by Niall Bell (niall@niallbell.com)